Self-Worth, Part One: Understand the Family Theater

(Author’s Note: This is the first in a series of entries on self-worth. Self-worth is the value you see within yourself, and in my opinion it’s one of the most important factors in being a great leader. In order to be effective in the opportunities you have to lead in today and to be able to be effective in even greater opportunities in the future, I encourage you to always strengthen your sense of self-worth.)

One very important aspect of self-worth is to understand yourself, and one of the most important parts of yourself is the part that was formed within your family as you were growing up. Just like in a theatrical performance, each person had a part to play, and over time those parts became solidified. As a result, each person was affected in a different way.

For example, in my family growing up I was the fourth of six children. Consequently, decisions were made on almost anything and I was not consulted on any of them. This wasn’t a good or a bad thing. It was just a reality. My parents, and sometimes my older siblings, would gather together and make a decision. It was just natural for them to not have to ask me. They weren’t being rude. It was just part of their roles to make decisions, and they didn’t feel it was necessary to go all the way down to the fourth kid to figure it out.

Recently, I realized that this role in my family created in me a great desire to be heard, to be considered, to be respected, and to make an impact on other people, primarily because I didn’t have those opportunities within my Family Theater. Consequently, my Family Theater led me into a career that met those desires: teacher, coach, advisor, consultant, speaker, and author. I used to be frustrated by my role in my Family Theater, but now I’m thankful for the crucible that I grew up within because it guided me to work that I really love doing.

Questions to Consider

  1. What was your role in your Family Theater?
  2. What desires did that experience create within you?
  3. How are you meeting those desires today in a healthy way?
  4. What else could you do to meet those desires in a healthy way?

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